Watching Remus Lupin
by CassandraMcCord
Summary: Fourteen sections encompass the story of Remus Lupin and Sirius Black from beginning to end, told by way of all the times Sirius watched Remus, from 1971 to 1998.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: This is my debut into the Harry Potter fanfiction world. I am so, so excited to share this with you. It is indeed Wolfstar, but it's also Remadora as I believe in both ships. This story will be posted in increments of two parts per chapter. I originally wrote it to be one long post but it grew to ten pages and I decided to split it up. It's posted here as well as on Tumblr under my url, mentallydatingspencerreid.

I wrote all of this in one day and I think it might be my favorite thing I've ever written. I am so proud that this is my first published Harry Potter fanfiction. I've been a part of this fandom for twelve years now, and I am so thrilled to bring my love of Harry Potter into this endeavor.

Please leave me a review and let me know what you think.

-Cassie

* * *

It started on September 1st, 1971, when Sirius boarded the Hogwarts Express for the first time, with that air of aristocracy about him and his dark curls neatly combed. His mother had forced him to do that, because, as she said, " _Can't have people thinking badly of us because you can't manage to look decent for five seconds."_ Sirius had dreamed of Hogwarts for years, if only because it meant that he would be out of the house for most of the year. He was looking out the window of the train, having boarded early, and feeling a little bit sad that he had to leave Regulus behind to deal with their parents all by himself. He glanced past his little brother and found his gray eyes trained on a boy in tattered robes, with golden hair that caught the sunlight and bags under his eyes and a large scar across his face. The boy looked to be about Sirius' age, and he was with a kind-looking woman and a tall, lanky man. Sirius thought to himself that this boy looked so incredibly _interesting_ , unlike any boy he'd ever met before.

When the same boy appeared in his train compartment and quietly introduced himself as Remus Lupin, Sirius couldn't help but smile. Two others joined their compartment, but as they all journeyed together toward Hogwarts, Sirius found himself stealing glances at the boy with the golden hair and beautiful scar across his face.

When Sirius approached the stool on which the Sorting Hat rested, he felt a mix of dread and excitement inside him. He had so enjoyed the train ride with his new friends. James, Peter, and Remus. None of them had judged him, even when they found out he was a Black. He knew they easily could have, but they had been so accepting. Sirius hadn't told them, but he was sure that the Sorting would be the end of their newfound friendship.

After all, Black children were Sorted into Slytherin.

Sirius knew better than to disappoint his mother, however much that deep part of him wanted to. So as he slipped the Sorting Hat over his head, he was mostly resigned to ending up in Slytherin. No matter how many bad things he heard about Slytherin house, and how much he hoped he wasn't like that, he felt sure that was where he belonged. He was a Black, after all.

When the Sorting Hat shouted out " _Gryffindor!"_ loudly to the entire Great Hall only seconds after being placed on his head, Sirius nearly fell off the stool. Never in his wildest dreams had he ended up in Gryffindor. When he lifted the hat off his head, leaving behind curls that were now messy and wild, the first thing he saw was the beaming smile of Remus Lupin, shining up at him from the Gryffindor table as they all cheered. Somehow, it eclipsed the angry hissing from the other side of the room by a long shot.

* * *

James was the one to tell him that they knew.

But Sirius was the one to go after Remus when he turned and ran after a shocked pause.

He found Remus curled up in a little corner behind a tapestry. His back was against the wall and his knees were drawn up to his chest. His head rested atop his arms, and Sirius could see him shaking.

In the time since his first day at Hogwarts, Sirius Black had already morphed from an aristocratic pureblood into a wild, adventurous, confident mess of a child who could find trouble as easily as most twelve-year-olds could breathe. 'Trouble' and 'Sirius' were nearly synonymous.

Now, though, he was all gentle touches and quiet mannerisms. Because with Remus, it was often a different story. Especially now.

"Remus, it's okay," Sirius said softly, kneeling beside his friend.

"No, it's not okay, Sirius," Remus sobbed, looking up at Sirius, his hazel eyes reflecting his terror and panic. "It isn't okay at all. I was supposed to be careful, they told me over and over how I should keep quiet. My mum says that if I don't keep quiet, I might never get to finish at Hogwarts and my dad says if I tell people, they won't want to be my friend." He seemed to be struggling to breathe, but somehow continued to talk anyway. "I haven't had friends before and now you, and Peter, and James, you all know what a monster I am, so you won't ever want to-"

"Monster?" Sirius repeated. "What do you mean, monster?" His seemingly genuine confusion stopped Remus in his tracks, and his warm hazel eyes met Sirius' stormy gray ones, which somehow always looked kind and bright despite their gloomy color.

"I'm a werewolf," Remus said.

"Well, yeah, but...I mean, you're also a boy," Sirius said with a shrug. "More times than not, actually. Way I see it, you're mostly a boy, you've just got a...furry little problem."

Remus supposed that Sirius' description of his ailment was probably funny, but somehow, Remus didn't quite get the humor at that moment. He stared at Sirius as if he were crazy.

"Are you mad?" Remus asked him. "You're absolutely barking mad."

Sirius grinned.

"I'm not a dog, Rem," he laughed. "But you kind of are."

"Wait," Remus said, as it suddenly dawned on him what all of this meant. "You're-you're not going to tell all the other students so that I'll get sent home?"

"No!" Sirius said, and it was his turn to look at his friend as if he'd lost his mind. "Merlin, Remus, why would we do that? You get us out of trouble with McGonagall. We kind of need you around."

"And-and you're not afraid of me?" Remus asked, his tone hushed. He avoided looking at Sirius, fearful of the answer he would receive. That is, until Sirius burst into raucous laughter. Remus' head snapped up and he stared at Sirius in disbelief.

"Scared of you?" Sirius repeated. "Remus, come on. You're a twelve-year-old boy who color-codes his woolen sweaters and has a specific quill for each subject. Nobody is scared of you."

"Oh." Remus felt close to tears again. He had been sure he was about to spend his last night at Hogwarts, or perhaps be sent home on the train immediately.

"Are you okay?" Sirius asked. Remus looked up at him and nodded slowly.

He thought he was okay, at least.

"Come on, then," Sirius said, standing up and offering a hand to Remus. "Better get back before James and Peter worry themselves to death."

Remus gave him a small smile.

"Thank you, Sirius," he whispered, quietly, but not so quietly that the other boy didn't hear him. Sirius wondered, as they walked back to the common room together, if Remus knew that Sirius had never had friends before, either.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note: I didn't quite get the response I was hoping for, but thank you if you did review, follow, or favorite. I'm hoping to pick up some steam as we go along and, if not, I still feel really good about this story. Enjoy!

-Cassie

* * *

In their third year, Remus fell asleep in Sirius' bed. Remus could fall asleep anywhere, and frequently did. Usually it was the couch, the Quidditch stands where he would sit to watch James and Sirius play, or on the grass under the trees by the lake.

Sometimes, he fell asleep in his own bed.

But today, a cool autumn day in October, Remus had fallen asleep in Sirius' bed, with rumpled blankets underneath him and his woolen Gryffindor sweater riding up to expose a little strip of flesh on his hip. His messy hair fell over one eye, and he looked positively adorable, curled up there in a warm ball on top of the crimson duvet. Sirius stared as he walked into the dormitory, the sight stopping him in his tracks. He'd already begun to think of Remus differently since they'd returned for their third year. Now, to see Remus curled up so comfortably in his bed, Sirius couldn't help the way his heart raced and his mouth suddenly got dry. On one hand, he wanted to wake the werewolf, but then he took another look at the peaceful expression Remus was wearing and realized that he couldn't have woken him even if he'd been determined. Seeing Remus in this serene state was too precious of an opportunity. Instead, Sirius grabbed a book from Remus' nightstand- one he'd been bugging Sirius to read- and settled carefully at the foot of the bed. He leaned his back against the bedpost, and opened the book.

Sirius didn't read a word that afternoon.

* * *

The first time Sirius experienced a full moon with Remus was the day that it was hardest for Sirius to watch him. It was their fifth year, and the boys had finally perfected their transformations. Sirius, with his boundless enthusiasm, had been misguidedly excited. That was, until, despite Remus' constant warnings that it would not be pleasant, he experienced the change firsthand. He watched as Remus changed into a werewolf. Sirius could hear bones cracking and body parts shifting, and he watched in horror as the beautiful features that he loved so much became the features of what most could easily call a monster. The black dog tucked his head between his paws as the agonized screams became howls that were just as painful to hear. Everything about the experience made Sirius' insides squirm. He wanted to do something, and found himself glad that James was there in the form of such a huge animal, because if he hadn't been, Sirius was not quite sure what reckless thing he might have done.

It was just as bad, if not worse, the next morning. The werewolf had tired itself out the night before, running around the forest with its new animal companions. Despite the company, though, it was still a werewolf and they weren't exactly known for their kind temperaments. Remus had still managed to injure himself, albeit not as badly as usual. Sirius watched from his corner again as the painful transformation occurred in reverse. The howling became whimpering. The fangs became teeth. The bones snapped back into place. And in the spot where a werewolf had lain moments before, lay a shivering, broken Remus Lupin. Sirius felt a rush of affection and padded over to him as a dog. Remus looked up at him, his hazel eyes pained. When Sirius laid down next to Remus, the boy buried his shaking hand in the dog's fur. Sirius was too busy watching Remus to notice when the other two slipped out of the Shrieking Shack.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoy Parts 5 and 6!**

 **-Cassie**

* * *

It was the last week of their fifth year when Remus, who had been careful not to show the full extent of his scars, slipped up. It wasn't that he was uncomfortable with the other Marauders, it was just that he was uncomfortable with himself. Sirius was always telling him how _distinguished_ the scars made him look. He didn't really believe it, though. He always felt unnecessarily self-conscious. He knew, of course, that no one would care. In fact, they were unlikely to bat an eye. Nonetheless, he felt it, that nagging insecurity that tugged at his heart and his mind, whispering to him about how little he was worth. It always seemed to be there, even when he was at his happiest. Less so since his friends had found out he was a werewolf and had continued to love and accept him. But still there.

That day in early June, Remus forgot his shirt in the dormitory when he went to take a shower. So he walked back in without one, hoping no one would be in there. He had no luck, however, because Sirius was hanging off the side of his four-poster, his head upside down and his face red with all the blood that had rushed there. Remus froze and watched in terror as Sirius' eyes got wide. Remus had never seen anyone move quite as quickly as Sirius did in that moment to right himself, staring wild-eyed at his shirtless roommate.

"What?" Remus snapped, reaching into his trunk to find a shirt. His face was flushing red as he could feel Sirius' eyes on him. "I know I've got scars, Sirius, you don't have to go bug-eyed pointing them out to me."

Suddenly, as he was about to pull a shirt out of his trunk and over his head, he felt a hand on his bare arm, goosebumps erupting under the touch as he turned his head to find Sirius now standing close to him, his stormy eyes still wide.

"Moony," he said, and his voice didn't sound quite like Remus expected. It was more gravelly, deeper, and laced with a quality that Remus didn't recognize.

"What?" he asked.

Sirius' eyes roamed Remus' torso, which was covered with a cross-hatching of scars; some thin and silvery, others wider and puckered with scar tissue.

"I _love_ them," Sirius whispered, and suddenly Remus was able to recognize the quality he hadn't been able to identify before.

Reverence.

"Moony, why on earth would you ever hide such a beautiful mess?" Sirius wondered aloud. He slowly traced a hand over some of the scars along Remus' shoulder.

"Because they're horrible," Remus answered. Sirius barked a laugh and shook his head, his wild curls falling into his eyes for a moment before he brushed them away impatiently to meet Remus' eyes.

"No, they're beautiful," he said, in a tone so sincere Remus could not help but believe him. "You're beautiful, Moons," Sirius added softly, and he pressed his lips to Remus' shoulder before grinning at him and falling back onto his bed.

"You know," Sirius said from the position he had resumed, "you look even better upside down."

* * *

"Sirius, how could you?"

Remus Lupin could not remember a time when he was as furious with someone as he was right then. He'd woken up in the hospital wing, and that had been how he'd known that something was terribly amiss.

And when he'd seen Sirius, James, Snape, and Dumbledore all lined up there next to his bed, he'd felt a sinking feeling in his stomach, knowing that it was really, really bad.

"What happened?" he had asked. Then, a thought occurred to him, and he went pale very quickly. "Did someone get hurt?" His first instinct was to rake his eyes over Sirius, looking for wounds. He found none, but he couldn't be sure.

"Mr. Lupin, I would first like to assure you that no one was injured, and your secret is quite safe," Dumbledore said with a sideways glance at the three teenage boys next to him. The story had unfolded from there, and Remus had learned every detail, from Snape's antagonistic remarks and Sirius' reckless reaction, to how James had gone in after Severus and pulled him back before he'd gotten to Remus, who would surely have torn him to bits. Naturally, Remus was grateful to James and relieved that Severus wouldn't be telling his secret to the whole school as a result of Dumbledore's influence.

Now, he stood in the Gryffindor boys' dorm, facing Sirius, who looked very much like a kicked puppy.

"How could you do something so incredibly reckless and dangerous?" Remus asked. "Sirius, I know he annoys you but he could have been killed," he continued. "And furthermore, did you ever once consider what would happen to me?"

Sirius looked as though he'd been stricken.

"Moony-"

"Save it," Remus said. There was fire in his eyes as he stared hard at his sort-of boyfriend or whatever they were. "You could have lost me everything, Black."

"Don't call me-"

"I'll call you what you act like," Remus spat. Sirius took a step back, and even from a distance, Remus could see tears shining in his gray eyes.

"I'm sorry," he croaked as Remus turned on his heel and walked away.

Remus Lupin was never one to remain angry for long periods of time. So after a few minutes, he had already begun to regret the things he'd said to Sirius and found himself climbing back up the stairs to the dormitory. He found Sirius in his bed, his body shaking with sobs. Remus sat down next to him and threaded his fingers through Sirius' hair. Sirius looked up with puffy, red eyes and blotches all over his handsome face.

"Sirius, don't cry," Remus said quietly.

"I'm so sorry, Moony," Sirius said, his voice breaking. "I wasn't thinking, I don't know why I didn't think it through, and...you're right," he said, "I'm just like them."

"No, Pads, of course you're not," Remus said, brushing his hand gently along Sirius' cheek. "You're just impulsive. Come on, it's alright. I trust you've learned your lesson."

"Remus, you have every right to hate me," Sirius breathed.

"Oh, Sirius, come on," Remus said. "I don't hate you, you idiot. We both know I love you."

There was a moment of silence in which the two of them looked at each other, the air still around them, swelling with the impact of what Remus had said so off-handedly, so naturally, like it was always that way.

"You what?" Sirius asked, breathless in his anticipation and still reeling from the sudden shift.

Remus could feel the heat creeping up his neck and into his cheeks, noticeable, he knew, since he was pale from the effects of the full moon.

In that moment, looking at Sirius' earnest gaze and the tear tracks on his cheeks, Remus knew it was time.

"I love you," he said again, boldly this time, not breaking eye contact.

"Love me how?" Sirius asked, desperately hoping, but not wanting to misunderstand. Remus smiled at him.

"Love you, love you," he said softly. "Can't get you out of my head, want to spend forever with you, fast heartbeat, love you."

"I love you more," Sirius heard himself say, and instantly wished he hadn't. He'd felt it, and he'd said it, and what if Remus didn't want him to be so competitive or what if he had jumped the gun and _why_ hadn't he just said 'I love you, too'? But to Sirius' relief, Remus laughed and leaned forward, pressing his lips to Sirius before he crawled under Sirius' blankets and curled up to sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

Sirius watched as Remus maneuvered his way around all of their boxes. It was summer, just a week after they had left Hogwarts, and the two of them were living together in the little one-bedroom flat Sirius had bought with his inheritance from his uncle. It was tiny, but neither of them really minded. They only needed the one bed, after all. It was early morning, and Remus' hair was a disastrous mess of wild curls that only appeared when the werewolf went to bed with his hair damp. Sirius adored it, and he did admittedly sometimes distract Remus so that he would forget to do that convenient drying charm on it before he went to sleep. Now, Sirius sat on the one large armchair they owned as Remus made tea. He was doing it by hand, as he'd left his wand in the bedroom. Remus was always more patient, Sirius mused. He knew if it had been him, there was a high likelihood that he would have either gone back for his wand, or, more likely, just given up on the tea entirely. Not Remus, though. No, Remus had all the patience. He could have been a Muggle, the way he went about doing things by hand all the time. Sirius found it rather endearing.

"Why are we up so early?" Sirius asked.

"Because," Remus said with a small smile, "I want to unpack these boxes today."

"All of them?" Sirius asked, and Remus laughed at the look of genuine horror on his face.

"Yes," Remus said as he carefully handed Sirius a cup of perfectly made tea. "All of them."

"But why?" Sirius asked.

"Because I like my home to be livable," Remus replied mildly. "Trust me, Padfoot, it won't be that bad. And you'll like the result."

"How about a reward?" Sirius asked, suddenly sounding much more eager.

Remus rolled his eyes good-naturedly.

"Alright, Pads, if you're good all day and help me get all these boxes dealt with, I'll give you a treat at the end of the day."

"I'm not a dog, Moony."

Remus laughed, glad he hadn't had tea in his mouth.

"Actually, you kind of are."

* * *

"Remus, please don't go," Sirius begged. Tears shone in his eyes as he stood inside of the little flat he and Remus still called home. Despite all of their best efforts to find joy, a war raged around them. Lily and James were in danger, his godson was the target of the world's most powerful Dark wizard, and now Remus was about to leave for an Order mission which would have him living God knows where among the werewolf community. Sirius had been furious when he'd first learned of Dumbledore's request, but Remus, in his quiet, mild, self-sacrificing way, had accepted it right from the start, saying that he'd known it was likely to come eventually.

"Oh, Sirius, you know I have to."

"You don't, though!" Sirius insisted desperately. "You don't have to, Remus, just-just tell them you've changed your mind. Tell them you can't do it anymore. Tell them something came up. I'll-I'll break my own neck and you can tell them that I don't have anyone else to care for me."

"Pads," Remus said with a small, sad smile and a shake of his head that made his hair fall over a scar on his forehead. He reached up and touched Sirius' cheek, his palm resting against the angular jaw that was covered with stubble.

"It's going to be alright," Remus said. "It won't be for very long, I think I can get the information Dumbledore needs without having to go in too deep. I'll be back before you notice I'm gone."

"That's not true and you know it," Sirius said angrily as hot tears spilled out onto his cheeks and nose.

"Come on, don't cry," Remus pleaded. "It's alright, Siri, I promise," he said quietly, using a nickname for Sirius that he used very rarely.

"Remus, I need you here," he said.

"I know," Remus said. "But you need me here in the long run, and what I'm doing is to help end the war. It's to try and keep Lily, James, and Harry safe. It's to try and keep you safe, love. I promise I won't fall in love with anyone while I'm gone."

"That's the least of my worries," Sirius huffed.

"I know," Remus said again. He set his bag down and pulled Sirius into a tight hug.

"It's going to be okay," he whispered in Sirius' ear, and ran his hand through the thick dark curls that he loved so much.

"I love you, Sirius," he said, and then, with one last glance at Sirius' gray eyes and handsome face, Remus Apparated and was gone with a resounding _crack_.

Neither of them knew on that rainy afternoon that it would be the last time they saw each other for twelve years.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Thanks to phnxgrl for reviewing every chapter so far! It really means a lot to me. :)**

* * *

Sirius was starving, and exhausted, and dirty. It all showed through in his dog form, which was thin and mangy, and whose yellow eyes had gained a haunted look during the twelve years of imprisonment. He was sulking through the forest, wishing he had something to eat, when he heard a very familiar voice. It was like water on a tongue that hadn't had a drink in days, and Sirius froze at the warm, tired voice of Remus Lupin. Even in his dog form, he was flooded with a rush of emotions.

He hadn't known how to find out about Remus, had chosen to focus on Harry instead, knowing that his godson was in danger. But now, with that voice that he had spent so many long nights thinking of, so many hours wishing he could hear...Sirius could barely stand. He desperately wanted to transform then and there, and tell Remus everything. For years, he had wondered if Remus was even alive. To hear his voice, exhausted though he sounded, was more than Sirius could ever have asked for. Knowing he was safe, here at Hogwarts, was a gift to him. But he knew he needed to stay hidden. There would be no way to know whether Remus would even believe him now, Sirius thought sadly. Watching through the trees, Sirius caught a glimpse of Remus, in tattered robes just like he'd been the first day they had met, so many years before. He looked worn and exhausted, and Sirius saw all sorts of new scars on his skin. He longed to run his fingers over them, to tell Remus again how beautiful they were. Instead, he stayed quiet as Remus continued his walk along the path with Harry at his side. They were discussing Harry's broomstick, and Sirius cringed a little bit at the memory of the Quidditch match he'd watched in which the incident had occurred. He'd used his one and only reliable connection to make sure a new broom was ordered for his godson. He would never tell anyone what he'd done, or how he'd done it, but he was so glad he had.

As the two of them walked away, out of earshot, Sirius restrained from following. He knew the time would come, soon enough, when he would have a chance to tell his story.

* * *

Sirius snuck into Remus' room at Grimmauld Place.

He couldn't keep track of which Order members were staying there and when, so he always exercised caution. There were still a lot of people who didn't trust Sirius, and being seen as that close to Remus could damage Remus' reputation, which was impressive considering that he was a werewolf. The Order was made up of good witches and wizards, but that was an old prejudice that sometimes came with ignorance. They always had to exercise caution.

He'd had the dream again. The one where he'd escaped Azkaban and gone looking for Remus, only to find out that he'd been dead for more than a decade. It was impossible for Sirius to restrain himself after having that particular dream. After all, it had been his biggest fear during his time in Azkaban.

He crept oh so quietly into the room and locked the door. Remus was awake, sitting in bed with a light burning next to him. He looked up, and there was immediate understanding in his eyes as he looked at Sirius.

"Come here," he said softly, and Sirius willingly crawled under the blankets next to him, curling close to Remus.

"Bad dream again, huh?" Remus asked. Sirius just nodded. He was still the same man he'd been, but with noticeable differences. The mischief did shine through now and again, but Sirius was haunted by his time in prison. It had been a very difficult, long twelve years of no love and no support and no company. Remus found that Sirius was much less talkative now, and despite how much it had annoyed him before, he sometimes found himself desperately wishing that Sirius would ramble and rant about meaningless things like he had done before the war tore apart their little family.

"It's alright, Pads," Remus said softly. He closed the book he had been reading, and, with a wave of his wand, the room went dark. Remus slid down into the blankets and pressed his lips to Sirius' head. "I'm right here," he murmured. "Go to sleep."

"Don't leave, Moony," Sirius mumbled.

"Wouldn't dream of it, love," Remus said quietly. "It's okay, Sirius. We're all safe."

There was a moment of quiet.

"I love you, Padfoot," Remus murmured. The answering sentiment was so quiet that Remus almost didn't hear, and then Sirius had fallen asleep, peaceful and safe there with the man he'd loved since he was thirteen years old.


	6. Chapter 6

**Part 11**

Sirius watched as Remus, with a look of pure anguish on his features, held Harry back from the Veil. Sirius tried to lean forward, but found himself unable to move. Except, he was moving, wasn't he?

Yes, he was falling backwards and these curtains were reaching for him like long-fingered hands, and in a way they reminded him of dementors, but they were not scary at all. In fact, he found that he had quite liked them. At least, he had until he saw Remus. He hadn't seen Remus look quite like that before. He'd seen him upset, but this was different.

Wait. No. He couldn't go.

He tried again to fight the strange curtains and the force pulling him back. Something in him was aware that it was all happening quickly, but he didn't understand how he knew that, since it felt so incredibly slow. It was pleasant, actually. But in those moments, he felt so torn.

Remus needed him. It was written all over Remus' tired face. He couldn't be alone. He needed Sirius. They'd just gotten their life back. They'd spent so long apart, Sirius couldn't leave him now.

And yet, he was.

He knew he was, and he looked up and met Remus' hazel eyes again.

In that moment, they both knew that it would be the last time.

And then, with a flutter of his eyelashes, Sirius Black was transported from one world into the next, and he felt it fitting that the last thing he saw was the thing he had loved the most.

 **Part 12**

Sirius watched from above.

He was the only one who got to see the wedding, since they'd done it quickly and quietly.

' _Weddings and wars don't mix well, Sirius,'_ Remus had told him gently once. ' _When it's over with, we will, but not now.'_

Sirius could have been bitter, but he wasn't. He supposed, as he watched the love of his life marry the cousin he liked best, that Remus had learned a thing or two from that first war. Sirius was altogether rather glad that Moony would get a second chance, a chance to do it right. To do things differently than they'd done it the first time.

He truly did love her, and Sirius saw it easily in the face of the werewolf who had been his once. Sirius had once had a personality that would have been overcome with jealousy at this, and it was there, present, at the back of his mind. But he was older now, and he knew things now that he hadn't known then. He knew Remus needed someone, and as he watched Remus fret over his robes, he shook his head.

Somebody had to take care of him, after all.

Remus was strong, but he also had terrible issues with self-confidence. Sirius had never fully understood it. As far as he'd been concerned, Remus Lupin was a god in a human body. A beautiful one, at that.

Sirius supposed, as the two of them exchanged their private vows, that as long as Tonks saw it, too, he couldn't really ask for much more.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Here is the final two pieces of my first Harry Potter fanfic. Thanks for reading. :)**

 **Part 13**

The day that Teddy Remus Lupin was born, tears were shed in more world than one. Sirius watched from his quiet corner.

Remus' eyes hadn't glittered like that in years, and Sirius was grateful to Tonks and to Harry and to little, tiny Teddy Lupin with his turquoise hair for the parts they'd played in making those hazel eyes do _that_ again. It was a look that Sirius had always taken such deep pleasure in, that joy and contentment and sparkle that meant so much. The look that meant Remus was happy- truly happy. It had been his giveaway at school, that look. He could have been glaring at any of them for whatever piece of mischief they'd come up with, but his eyes would glitter and they'd know he wasn't really angry.

"Hello, Teddy," Remus laughed, cradling the little baby boy in his arms, looking down at him with a beautiful look of adoration on his face. That look made him appear ten years younger. Sirius felt a pang of sadness as he remembered that they had been planning on adopting a child together.

 _After the war,_ they'd said. _Don't want to bring a baby into the family when we're in the middle of a war._

And again, Sirius was glad that Remus was doing it differently this time around. Sirius looked down at the family that could have been his, and he smiled to himself. Remus was happy, and there was a new little Marauder down there. That's what mattered in that moment, those things that were happy and bright and which eclipsed the tragedy of the war that was raging outside.

 **Part 14**

It all ended on May 2nd, 1998. Sirius Black watched Remus Lupin die, at the hands of a Death Eater, leaving behind a little war orphan whose story, Sirius was sure, would be so different from that of the war baby they'd left behind all those years before. No, Teddy Lupin would not be like Harry Potter. Teddy Lupin would have all the love in the world, and Sirius knew that all the sacrifice would be worth it.

In the moments between, he mourned a little bit. The last of the Marauders was gone now, and, somewhere among Harry's things, the Marauder's Map was wiping itself clean, and new words were writing themselves across the parchment to remain there forever; _Mischief Managed_. It was over now, but a new phase was about to begin. So in the moments between, he let himself mourn and kept his excitement at bay.

That is, until there was a soft crack, and a young, vibrant version of Remus Lupin, with all of the scars that Sirius adored, appeared next to him. A bright, brilliant smile spread over Sirius' features and he threw his arms around Remus, taking in all the familiarity and the joy and everything about him, because it was _Remus_ and he was here and they were together and all the burdens of everything were gone now.

"Padfoot," Remus murmured.

"Welcome home, Moony," Sirius said, and as James and Lily approached them, Sirius Black took a long look at Remus, taking in every detail before he remembered- he would get to see this every day for eternity.

And suddenly, Sirius felt for the first time that he didn't need to look so long and so hard at the beauty that was Remus Lupin.

After all, he had forever to look.


End file.
